May Contain Nuts

I’ve made a promise to myself this week to not be as slovenly as I normally am. I’m not going to let my last round of chemotherapy get to me. I’m going to make sure that I get myself washed and dressed and read books or watch a Christmas film or two. It knocks me out and I do rest, but sometimes spending too much time in pyjamas doesn’t help me. So, even if it’s just a change of night pyjamas to day pyjamas, a change has got to be better. Unfortunately, it’s hard to try and do things when you have been awake more than asleep during the night because of the achy legs and steroids. Plus, I think sometimes there is a bit of hunger in there as well. 

On Friday I managed to get a few more Christmas decorations up. Saturday, I did a bit of housework and some tidying. Today my tastebuds are at the weird stage where they can cope with the water but it’s not tasting as good as it used to. But it’s the coldness that I struggle with. My nose is constantly cold, and I can always feel a draft around my neck. I either sit with a hoody up or a shawl around my head. I’m sitting here typing and my hands are getting cold. I have slippers and socks on, but my feet won’t warm up. I can snuggle up in bed and try and stay warm, and then the hot flush starts, and I kick the covers off quickly to cool myself down. Thankfully this only goes on for the time that I am injecting myself with filgrastim, which will finish on Wednesday so the hot flushes should ease after that. I take three anti-sickness pills every day this week and I’m constantly keeping a check of my bowel movements. These will be the things that I look forward to doing without in the future. 

I was told last week that it may be my last chemotherapy, but I will continue with the immunotherapy alongside the surgery. They have assured me that I won’t need to have the filgrastim, so I can stop injecting myself. I will have two rounds of the Pembo every three weeks, and then it will change to every six weeks. But I have not been told when this will end, so let’s just hope it won’t go on for longer than the year that they originally told me.  

I’m going to stop typing now as my fingers are too cold to continue. I could’ve taken breaks, but the way my brain is working it would forget what I have been doing. Besides, I wanted to get this finished.