May Contain Nuts

I should’ve been having my picc line fitted today. I had to call the nurses early this morning to say I was too ill to make it. 

Thursday evening, I was shattered and went to bed early. Understandable as I think I was in shock as well. Friday, I woke up ok, took my steroids and anti-sickness pills and was able to be a bit active around the house. Had the energy to clean and vacuum, so I did. Saturday was much the same. Felt a bit tired but wasn’t too bad. Still had steroids and the big anti-sickness pill to take. Tracey popped over to see me and I had cleaned the house before she had arrived and wasn’t feeling too tired. She didn’t stay for long, but I was glad to get to hug her. Saturday evening was a different story though. On the Saturday after Day 1 chemo, I start injecting myself with the immunotherapy syringes. Surely that’s not too bad?  Maybe if you’re used to injecting yourself, but I have never been asked to do it before. So, I put my big brave girl pants on and did it. It stings when it goes in. Then within an hour your joints start aching. I went to bed early and tried to sleep through it.  

Sunday, I woke up and had to make the decision if I wanted to take the next lot of anti-sickness pills. Tracey and I had been discussing how everyone is different, and it would depend on whether I can cope with sickness. I was fine with morning sickness when I was pregnant. Didn’t throw up or struggle too much, so maybe I could cope without the tablets. So, I didn’t take them. Breakfast was ok, lunch was alright but there a severe lack of appetite at dinnertime. 

Monday got worse. A little bit of breakfast, struggled to eat biscuits. Felt hungry, ate something, stomach didn’t like it. Tried lunch, that was a was a struggle. Emily cooked dinner and I couldn’t even eat anything without getting instantly hot and then not wanting to eat another mouthful. I wasn’t feeling sick. It was as if my body was crying out for food, but as soon as you give it food it was then going – but that’s not food. I didn’t feel sick. So, I didn’t take the pills. 

So, this morning I was worse. The picc nurses were lovely and have changed the fitting to next Tuesday. I got up and tried to eat something. Yet again, nothing wants to go into my stomach. I called and left a message with the chemo unit. 

I tried not to sleep too much but that’s nearly impossible. Simon is trying to do his best to help but we are both struggling with how to deal with this. All I seem to have done is sleep, and it hasn’t affected my sleep at night. 

The chemo nurses called back and talked me through everything. They asked if I had taken the anti-sickness pills and I explained that I hadn’t as I wanted to see if I could cope without them, but I did take a pill at lunch time. She asked if that had helped and I said that I had managed to eat something. She told me to keep taking them, three times a day, and if that doesn’t help, I need to take the other anti-sickness pills as well. She told me to eat what I wanted as eating anything would be better than nothing. She said to eat the ice-cream and eat the crisps if I wanted. I thanked her for all her help. 

I ate a little bit of dinner which is better than nothing again.